What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What do you mean son?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What was the worst spanking you got growing up?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

True - how I loved my mum!

What! how could you do that?

Can a dental anesthesia injection cause nerve damage? After receiving an injection in my gums I felt a sharp tingle going from the gum to my lower lip, and now sometimes I get a bit of itchiness and discomfort in my lower lip. What is it?

Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What is the reason for writing X^2 as XX instead of X*X?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”